When Someone You Love Passes On

I recently lost four of the most loved ones in my life. The most devastating one for me was losing my identical twin sister to lung cancer. She was playing tennis one week, and the next week, she was in Hospice. She died within a month. I did get to spend time with her and take care of her for that month, which I am really grateful for. You have to realize that we were extremely close. She truly was my greatest confidante. I miss her desperately.

So, how am I managing to get over all these deaths? First, I was really angry at God, the Holy Spirit, and the universe. I spent a lot of time saying ‘God, why did you do this to me? Why? I need her so much in my life.’ I was so angry! Then I realized that there are no answers. It is over, and there is nothing I could do about it.

What has helped me the most is keeping busy. Of course, I will have my moments, crying in the early morning or at night. Being busy was definitely a positive choice in my life. How do you stay busy when you have spent so much time with another? First, you have to realize that there are doers and followers. Become a doer and planner, and the followers will come.

My days are filled with activities, and some of my evenings as well. That is the only thing that has helped me. If you have been a follower and not a planner, you have to change. Get busy, call your friends, invite them over for drinks and appetizers, or for cookies and tea, or meet for lunch or dinner. I have heard horror stories from people who say that they have had friends who were always inviting them to do things, but after their loved one passed on, those same people never invited them to do anything again. What a shame!

If they can’t go with you, then call another friend. Keep calling your friends until you find somebody who can go. There is nothing wrong with that. Everybody has busy lives. There are times when I have had to call four or five friends to see if I could get somebody to go do something with me. Also remember, if they can’t go, it is not a personal affront to you; they are just busy. This has helped me immensely.

Another thing that helped me is my neighbor reminding me that my loved one is still here in Spirit. I have learned to talk to my twin, and my other loved ones, to let them know I love them and I miss them. Yes, it is awful that they cannot answer you out loud, but they do answer you in your silent intuition. The first thing you need to do is be positive and realize that they are here by your side to help you and protect you.

Remember, with friends and family members who are still here, it is up to you to keep in touch. Sometimes you are the one that always has to call, and that is OK. You have to realize we never know what kind of a day other people are having, so if you make a call and cheer them up, you have given them a gift of some happiness, even if it is just for a few moments.

Another way to prove that the Spirit does live on, if you doubt or question that, is a story of reincarnation about my twin sister’s son when he was a little boy five years old. She gave him strawberries and said “this is the first time you have had strawberries.” He said, “no it is not. I had them with my other family, and got to ride on a tractor and drive it and a few other things.” So my twin, in trying to validate this, asked him how many udders does a cow have? He told her right away. So she drove him and his sister to a farm that was a few miles away to visit the manager of the farm. He told her that her son had been right.

The spirit lives on, so talk to your loved one and listen to your subconscious for the answers. Just keep busy and share your love with others. We all need love. Just remember to keep love in your heart and share it. You never know what tomorrow brings.

I created a weekly schedule for my healing. Four times a week I would play cards and mahjong with two groups and have lunch with different groups twice a week.

You can do everything I have shared with you for yourself. Always remember at this stage of your life, no matter how old you are, you must now become the leader, for your mental and emotional well being.

All the Best!

THE ALPHA OF EVERY SIN IS
‘THE TAKING FOR GRANTED’
THE OMEGA OF EVERY PRAYER
IS ‘THANK YOU’.
THANK YOU FOR BEING YOU!

As you ramble through life my friend, keep your eye upon the donut, and not upon the hole.

Motto of Chok full O’Nuts coffee