Alice Miller, the Einstein of Abuse

Original article by Ray-man Coppola

It has happened to most of us, and she, the Queen Goddess of abuse (in my opinion), explains the problem better than Shakespeare, Proust, or Joyce ever could, in her genius book, “The Drama of the Gifted Child” (Basic Books, NY, 1997).

Originally a Jungian analyst (and a great artist to boot before she quit), put it as simply as Einstein’s formula, as she proclaims that every normal child is born “gifted and genius-like,” but the acclimatization to society in the form of parenting, education, and the media, represses that genius, which is consequently why most of us live lives of quiet desperation. Is this the reason why psychologist, Abraham Maslow, in searching for self-actualized people found that they were only 3% of the population? Who knows? Who could say?

I know this about myself! It took me 50 years of searching, learning, failing, going down dead-ends, giving up, hurting myself and many others (which I am deeply ashamed of) and after being a teacher of children with disabilities and supervisor of early childhood programs for 12 years, as well as receiving the New York City Big Brother of the Year Award, that I decided to quit education.

I worked in corporate America for four different miserable managers until I started my own sales and marketing corporation and published “We Magazine,” a lifestyle consumer magazine for people with disabilities.

As an entrepreneur, a published advocate for the unfortunate, a non-believer, and an egoist, finally, with the help of the Holy Spirit and never giving up, I have come to know one golden thread of truth (largely from Alice Miller), that the only sin is the taking for granted. All other sins stem from this first black domino, and that the only necessary prayer is “Thank You.”

And guess what, my friend, most therapists and book critics have never heard of Alice Miller. But you and I have! Hip, Hip, Hooray!

Atonement

Ontogeny recapitulating phylogeny
wave particle as one
I am you, you are me, we are one
together
together

time past
time future
all now

ageless wisdom
from those who came to visit
to share
for us to know
what we always knew
for us to understand
what they came to know

what they came for
to remember for us all
for us to remember also.

What shall we do with this? Wrap it in a box?
Hide it in a closet? Put it in the attic or
cellar or throw it out with the garbage?

And is it possible for us to have it
if we do not take some time to receive it
if we do not give ourselves the benefit of the doubt.
What is the meaning of this
(if it contains any meaning at all)
of this we take a New York Minute
for perhaps an ah, ah moment.

****

Round about
1905
radical newness emerging

E=MC SQUARED
Einstein laying the wiring then of our cell phone now
THAT COUCH
Freud showing us why we know not what we do
A NUDE DESCENDING A STAIRCASE
Abstract Expressionism drawing us inward
beyond paint and canvas

All these presents of the present
under the Holy Holiday Tree.
Remember the joy you had when you were
two years old
when you were three and four

remember
remember
for there was a joy in coming to being
oh, there was joy

and….and

universally
we all received this totally
a third chromosome.

****

Envisioning alternatives
let's let our imagination soar
Shakespeare did, Einstein did, eagles do it
so could we
we could have refused IBM and Mercedes and all
the rest
we could have said no to this profit option
to Wall Street & London
we could have said hell no
and because we didn't
we got hell in return.

For who can kill without a bullet
who can incinerate without a systems program

then what happened
what happened?

A glitch
a glitch in the matrix
as usual
too much awareness

too much light at once
we needed to shut our eyes from the brightness
we needed a coffee break
the switch was turned on without enough warning
and we did
we needed to at the time
we needed to shut our eyes for a moment only
a siesta moment, and we did.
To what?
(oh my friend, how can we put this answer to words)
we can't
nightmares always remain impressions

death is always abstract
(until perhaps our own)
we can't
we can't.

The impossible always remains the impossible
no matter how hard we try.

It was a time
a time that made all other times seem not so bad
a time when God blinked, and we were blinded.

World War 1
Depression
World War 11
The Holocaust
Nagasaki and Hiroshima
9-11
and much more
oh much, much, more

Korea, Vietnam, Afghanistan, Ukraine
we all came of age with them
we left our innocence behind with them.

Hitler, Mao, Stalin, Pol Pot and all the others
we skinned our knee on the sidewalk
we fell off the bicycle
the training wheels came loose
we fell down
we split our fragile arm.

They split the atom
the genie's bottle broken
not for the restoration of life
but for the burning of a Japanese infant
coming forth
halfway out the womb
umbilical cord still attached
we fused that infant into lava rock.
It happened to each of us
who could bomb without the oil to fly.

I don't recall the Nazi's having any oil of their own.
Do you?

A collective-unconscious-mind-set-software-
program-of-miscreating.
An ancient archetypal pattern that fosters a thought
that begins an action
(for the thought is indeed father of the deed)
and all based on one insane acceptance
only one
that anyone wins in war
that anyone wins by war!

* * * *

The Jews (the ones who are left)
got some of their art back
(and good on them).

I want .001% of the profits of BP oil from those wars
and you deserve .001% also
we all do I say, and why?
For stealing our birthright of joy
joy to the world.

Can joy and war exist together?
Can they?
(and don't mention the after-quake)

They stole our joy!

And in its place, they gave us a tsunami of insanity.

Let's reconvene the world court.
Let's have some real justice for once.
Let's invite God/Goddess to be the judge.
Let's let those eleven million, and the innocents
of Nagasaki and Hiroshima be the jury.
Let's give the past some restitution.

Baptism for soul.
Confirmation of love.
To show us another way,
a better option.

* * * * *

Round about
1960
a Renaissance for our time
an Enlightenment
and still going on.

Yes, some books will still be burned
some will perish prematurely
but nothing major.
For what is God/Goddess
if not instant communication
of truth unfolding

within the internet
molecularly flowing in social media
(yes, most of it hidden, but still there)
(for those who want to see)
(for those who traded 'sight' for 'vision')
(for those with courageous balls).

What else need be said than
we have nothing to fear but fear itself,
ask not what your country can do for you
but what you can do,
I have a dream,
and
all that need happen for evil to come about
is that good men and women do nothing,
and
forgive your brother 7 x's 70 x's 700.

What else need be said my friend?
Quantum bells ring softly for all

and though only few choose to hear
all are called
all will eventually hear
all are called
to stem cell research curing every disease
(weren't we all called to a polio vaccine)
to cell phones leaving no one isolated
to blogs and podcasts saying to international media
(you guys missed this story, again).

Gee whiz GE & ABC
who's holding you accountable, gee whiz.

All are called
eventually
all will hear.

Black slaves heard it, repressed women heard it,
closeted gays heard it.
mothers of school children heard it,
and Thank God/Goddess they acted on it!

The perfect melody of that cord of 1905
becoming symphonic in the 1960's,
our very own Renaissance.

And even now
(though dams are being attempted to shut the flow)
we need only know
(as they know)
as ideology is chosen over truth,
that 'that' is the center that will not hold.

Water and air will gently flow for grass to grow
for minds to imagine
for hearts to beat one passion
for spirit to awaken to
at-one-with-my
rich/poor/ignorant/genius/holy/insane/dis-eased
brother and sister, and you and me.

For all of us to not only imagine
but to know
to act
to act with only
'at-one-with'
in mind.

* * * * *

How do we accomplish this?
As they who knew implored us to know.
To forgive.
Forgive who?
Everyone!
Especially ourselves.
especially ourselves.
For what?
For what we thought silently about
for what we always knew, but never said.